It have been six months ever since. Thinking back, reminiscing how things were back then and to where I am now. Much have changed ever since and much have I learned throughout this never ending journey where all of us are on now, a journey called life. I experienced many things in this six months.
First of all, I made more new friends from my college. I had been in this college for two years already but I did not really make any female friends but somehow I manage to make a few in this short period of time. It all happened because my best friend in college had a crush on a girl (Which is not officially his girl). That girl had a group of friends. Oh they were my diploma classmates in the old days. So yeah we did a few stupid stuffs just to catch their attention such as writing stupid invitation on a big piece of paper and displaying it directly towards them while we were studying in two separate discussion rooms but we were just side by side with one another and there was a transparent glass separating the two rooms so we just put the paper on the glass when they were looking at us.
Second, I did my very first marathon in my life. It was the color run. Many times I told myself that I needed to practice before the event but I never practiced at all. SOMEHOW I manage to finish the 5KM run, in a pretty good time too for a beginner i reckon! I reached the finish line below an hour! It was a great experience.
Three, traveled to quite a number of places in Malaysia. First was Penang where I spent 3 days and 2 night with my friends which I met from an online game. Second, Ipoh and finally Malacca. So whats the reason behind all of this? We Malaysians are known for our extraordinary enthusiasm towards finding food where we would go all the way of an extra mile just to quench our taste buds on those particular famous local delicacies, thats right! All of those places that we went, it was in in the name of food! Live to eat not eat to live!
Four, I experienced my very first waterfall experience. The waterfall I went to is known as the Rainbow Waterfall back in a small place near my hometown called Sungai Lembing. I was unlucky that when we went, the rainbow did not show up. Nonetheless, it was an experienced to be remembered and savored!
Five, I took up French for my elective subject. Ehem... Je m'apelle John Koe. J'ai vingt-et une ans. J'adore manger. Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? AHAHAHAH kidding on the last one.
Six, I experienced my very first philharmonic orchestra with one of my favorite musics performed by Distant Worlds music from Final Fantasy. It was like a dream come true to listen the beautiful sounds of games being brought to life right in front of me with an ensemble of various musical instruments. Final Fantasy music has been the sole reason that I have picked up music.
Seven, I learned how to play a bit of the piano with the help of a wonderful friend which have is going off to UK soon. I learned how to play the early bits of Canon in D with both left and right hands! He taught me how to read the musical scores as well.
Eight, I am going to a very first trip with my college friends soon. Notably seven days from now. Going to Penang again with em college friends!
Nine, This is a bad experience that I wish never to experience again. Had my very first hangover with my drinking buddy which was my housemate who is now working. He comes by every semester for a drinking session with me. The feeling of hangover is horrible. The feeling was like you wanna vomit so badly but you just can't seem to do it and all you wanna do is just to lie down on the bed whole day. No more drinking two different liquors in one day. Midori and Famous Groose. Bad idea. No no.
That pretty much a summary of my life in a nutshell. The experiences that I have accumulated for the past six months. It was a good one. When you fall, never lose your will to stand up once again because you will discover many wonderful things once you stand back up on your two feet. Carpe Diem
Monday, September 1, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Discovering myself
Well dropping off from my last post. Things did not work out. I guess that I'll still have to wait longer. I believe that good things comes to those who waits patiently. Its gonna be rough but I will manage it somehow as I had previously dealt with. As they say, time is the best medicine and time heals all wounds.
I've learned from that short little trip that I am a very sensitive person, exceptionally sensitive if it is someone whom I care for dearly. I still have a lot to learn on my behalf to be a better person who I am at present. To love myself more and not just to give entirely in for someone else while I neglect to love myself in the process. I guess I realize that when a big problem arises between someone important to me, if that something never gets solved at that moment, it will haunt me throughout the entire day and even causing me to be unable to sleep. I guess I have to accept the truth that, I do not know how to handle things in a mature manner and my way of thinking has yet to be developed to a stable state to who I am today.
On the other hand, because of such dismal state that I was in. I discovered that I am gifted in a sense that I have many friends around me who cares for me. Friends who I believe are of the ones who will stay in my life for a very long time. During my first year in college, I did not really have any close friends at all. But on the second year of college, that changed and I have found two close friends because we would go take an extra mile to the end of the city, enduring traffic jams JUST to have a bite on delicious food! That statement of close friends isn't sufficient anymore at the current moment, they are more of brothers to me right now. I was touched, very touched when I told one of them what I was facing in that evening as we were walking back home after class ended. That night as I thought the night would just pass by as how it normally would, then my bro messaged me if i needed to go out so that I could get my mind off things, I said its alright and he replied me immediately, "Just say yes if you need it. I know how you feel because I have been there". My eyes began to water immediately after reading that, even typing it out right now just makes my vision slightly blurry. Thank you my friends.
Actually I realize that I have been living with me,myself and I for over 21 years already. I don't see why I should be disheartened because of this, It have always been like this. Chins up, chests outwards Johnny! You can do this! Its not your first time falling and not your first time walking through the ups and downs in what LIFE has to offer! Believe in yourself, and believe in a better tomorrow John!
There is just so much hits in this that I could not help just to smile because there is so much I could relate to
I've learned from that short little trip that I am a very sensitive person, exceptionally sensitive if it is someone whom I care for dearly. I still have a lot to learn on my behalf to be a better person who I am at present. To love myself more and not just to give entirely in for someone else while I neglect to love myself in the process. I guess I realize that when a big problem arises between someone important to me, if that something never gets solved at that moment, it will haunt me throughout the entire day and even causing me to be unable to sleep. I guess I have to accept the truth that, I do not know how to handle things in a mature manner and my way of thinking has yet to be developed to a stable state to who I am today.
On the other hand, because of such dismal state that I was in. I discovered that I am gifted in a sense that I have many friends around me who cares for me. Friends who I believe are of the ones who will stay in my life for a very long time. During my first year in college, I did not really have any close friends at all. But on the second year of college, that changed and I have found two close friends because we would go take an extra mile to the end of the city, enduring traffic jams JUST to have a bite on delicious food! That statement of close friends isn't sufficient anymore at the current moment, they are more of brothers to me right now. I was touched, very touched when I told one of them what I was facing in that evening as we were walking back home after class ended. That night as I thought the night would just pass by as how it normally would, then my bro messaged me if i needed to go out so that I could get my mind off things, I said its alright and he replied me immediately, "Just say yes if you need it. I know how you feel because I have been there". My eyes began to water immediately after reading that, even typing it out right now just makes my vision slightly blurry. Thank you my friends.
Actually I realize that I have been living with me,myself and I for over 21 years already. I don't see why I should be disheartened because of this, It have always been like this. Chins up, chests outwards Johnny! You can do this! Its not your first time falling and not your first time walking through the ups and downs in what LIFE has to offer! Believe in yourself, and believe in a better tomorrow John!
Friday, January 31, 2014
My First.
So far to where I have walked in life, I have only made 3 confessions. The first two did not work out. I wouldn't say third time's the charm but it did leave a special mark which would never be occupied by anything else.
My life have practically been like a roller coaster since she came back. It started all the way back when she safely arrive in Malaysia on November 2013. Our conversations on one another got deeper as the days pass by in the aspects of topics regarding about feelings. One day she mentioned that she was waiting for her prince, turns out after countless of attempts asking her who that prince was, it was me all along. Waited for me since 2009.
Things were complicated. She was with someone back then. On 23rd of December we decided to have the talk because our conversations were getting somewhere and I believe that it will hurt her if this keeps on. The aftermath of the talk was really heart shattering in a way. SHE even thought that she had lost me as her friend. There were many moments where our relationships as just friends could have just shattered but it did not. Instead we came back together stronger than before. Despite so much that has happened, oddly there was not any element of AWKWARDNESS. I did hear it from a friend of mine saying that, you will only feel awkward if you think its awkward. Those words actually make sense as to what I am currently experiencing.
Suddenly things took a sharp turn. She suddenly broke up with her current one. I was there to be her pillow to catch her from her fall and make her happy. Things went really fast afterwards and many things happened between us. But one thing that she realized is that, she was not ready. She did not want me to be her rebound therefore she needed time to find who she is. I could not do anything as this was her decision and all I could do was wait until she was ready.
Though things did not go as I wanted. Though we did not get into a relationship. However, the love that I have received, given and accepted has made me felt what love was like. It is an overwhelming feeling that is very warm and makes you looking forward to every new day that we see when we open our eyes from our sleep. It somehow challenged me to be a better person than who I am today compared to before and I am thankful for that.
I really do hope that things between us will work out in the future. My dad talked to me about this and said, be happy with what you have at the moment, for whatever that comes in the future it is unforeseeable and who knows that if your bonds are strong enough it might meant to be.
You will always be my first love.
My life have practically been like a roller coaster since she came back. It started all the way back when she safely arrive in Malaysia on November 2013. Our conversations on one another got deeper as the days pass by in the aspects of topics regarding about feelings. One day she mentioned that she was waiting for her prince, turns out after countless of attempts asking her who that prince was, it was me all along. Waited for me since 2009.
Things were complicated. She was with someone back then. On 23rd of December we decided to have the talk because our conversations were getting somewhere and I believe that it will hurt her if this keeps on. The aftermath of the talk was really heart shattering in a way. SHE even thought that she had lost me as her friend. There were many moments where our relationships as just friends could have just shattered but it did not. Instead we came back together stronger than before. Despite so much that has happened, oddly there was not any element of AWKWARDNESS. I did hear it from a friend of mine saying that, you will only feel awkward if you think its awkward. Those words actually make sense as to what I am currently experiencing.
Suddenly things took a sharp turn. She suddenly broke up with her current one. I was there to be her pillow to catch her from her fall and make her happy. Things went really fast afterwards and many things happened between us. But one thing that she realized is that, she was not ready. She did not want me to be her rebound therefore she needed time to find who she is. I could not do anything as this was her decision and all I could do was wait until she was ready.
Though things did not go as I wanted. Though we did not get into a relationship. However, the love that I have received, given and accepted has made me felt what love was like. It is an overwhelming feeling that is very warm and makes you looking forward to every new day that we see when we open our eyes from our sleep. It somehow challenged me to be a better person than who I am today compared to before and I am thankful for that.
I really do hope that things between us will work out in the future. My dad talked to me about this and said, be happy with what you have at the moment, for whatever that comes in the future it is unforeseeable and who knows that if your bonds are strong enough it might meant to be.
You will always be my first love.
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